My Drive

Drive , no I'm not talking about 🛣🚘a car dive down a literal road. I'm talking about the force, 🌅 within that burns brighter than the sun. ☀️

My drive use to be at the peak 🏔 like that of a mountain. I was so high on the scale that I could smile and have a good day even though I was just assaulted that morning. Now I do take into consideration that I was young 🤸‍♀️, and as a child 👧🏿, it was easier to bounce back. Even in my teens and young adult life, 👩🏿 I was able to bounce back. I maintained this drive even into my 40's. It wasn't until my late 40's, when things started unraveling 😑🎱 and found myself constantly behind the 8ball🎱.

All my buried pain and trauma could no longer stay hidden and by this point that toxic waste 🛢🛢I had packed away, was leaking ☢☣. Causing me to be truly ill 🤕🤒.

Once this happened my drive was leveled down to mere ashes. I was barely moving, living and doing anything. I was burned out 🕯the candle was no longer standing tall with a bright flame.

I realized too, at this moment my enemies were rejoicing 👺🤱🏾, the Devil and my Mom, 💃🏾🕺🏽💃🏾🕺🏽💃🏾🕺🏽💃🏾🕺🏽💃🏾🕺🏽🥂🎉🎉🎈🎈💃🏾🕺🏽💃🏾

Yes they were dancing for they had finally achieved what they wanted me, knocked out flat, no longer fighting or happy.

The story doesn't end here of course, NO!! It really begins again. This will pick up later for discussion.